i have a story to tell you and i’m too lazy to text it. steve and i were in the shower on monday before he brought me home and we were talking about his hydrocele and he said something about his plans on getting it fixed and whatnot. and we’ve talked before and he said he’s going to wait to get it fixed because when he does, he’s getting a vasectomy. and i just looked up at him and turned my head and  asked him why he’s waiting, if it bothers him why doesn’t he do it now? and he told me I know why. And so I just looked at him again and said why? it doesn’t matter, if it bothers you you should just do it. and he got all concerned looking and said he can tell that it matters to me, and that I know exactly why he’s not doing it. when we were working together he always said he’d never have more kids and this really proved to me that he actually does wanna have a baby, or babies with me and that makes me so happy. but i just want to be able to tell him that if he doesn’t want anymore, he doesn’t need to have more just because i don’t have my own. i love the three that he has and that’s enough for me. it’s not like having kids is easy or anything. the only thing is, i’m just only scared now that he won’t want to get married again. especially with as shitty as being married to her has been. but we ordered dinner from pizza delight which is right across from his house and he wanted me to go over and get it, and when you place your order i guess you have to give them your last name so you can pick it up. and i told him i couldn’t go get it cause that isn’t my last name and started to walk away from him then i turned around and grinned and went yet and winked at him and he just grinned at me. so maybe he’s right, maybe it is me that’s changing his mind..because being with me is so much better maybe he’ll wanna do all this again. i hope so, cause i wanna be a real mommy and i wanna be married to him. :( also sorry i couldn’t put all this in your ask box but tumblr clearly hates everyone.